Day Seventeen

8:30am: Diet Coke, Eating Right Granola Bar - 2pts
10am: 32oz H2O
12pm: 8oz H2O, Salmon (4oz?), greens, raisins, Vinagrette - 7pts
4pm: 32oz H2O, apple - 1pts
6pm: Diet Pepsi, South Beach Breakfast Burrito - 3pts
8pm: Diet 7up, 32oz H2O, Taquitos, chips, salsa, cheese dip - 20pts

Total: 33pts and 104oz water

Weight this morning: 250.6
Loss since 10/9/2007 (256): 6.2

I'm losing and gaining back the same damn pound. It has to end sometime right? It has to budge lower eventually. Maybe I need to drop my points by a category or something. Maybe I need to go back to weighing everything. Damn it.

Second Week Weigh In

Starting Weight: 256
Current Weight: 249.8
Total Lost: 6.2
Next Goal: 10% starting body weight (25lbs) 10% of weight to be lost 12lbs

Again, not really tearing it up, am I? Less than two pounds for week two. Saturday night probably sabotaged me a bit, but man this is going slow.

If you notice, I changed my first goal. I was thinking that smaller goals might be better. And also, the goal of losing 10% of your starting weight is a one time thing. If I decide how much I want to lose (126lbs based on where I want to end up), then I have a concrete end goal and I can gauge how far along that path I am by tracking increments. So 12lbs (rounding down because 120lbs is good too) is 10% of what I want to lose. When I've lost 36lbs, I'll know that I'm 30% of the way to the end.

With the way this is going, it's going to be Thanksgiving before I reach the first goal, and probably well into March to reach the second one. If I keep the 2lbs/week thing up, then we're looking at over a year for the whole thing. And that's assuming no slip-ups, plateaus, or breaks. Lovely.

And yes, I know that whole "you didn't put it on overnight so you can't expect to take it off that quickly." Bah.

Positive thought for the day/week: I'm still losing not gaining, and I even made room within my points for movie popcorn.

First Week Weigh In

Starting Weight: 256
Current Weight: 251.4
Total Lost: 4.6
Next Goal: 10% starting body weight (25lbs)

Not at all what I wanted to see. I gained a pound from the day before. Yeah, I know - it's the dangers of weighing yourself everyday, but I need that constant monitoring to keep myself motivated. It also makes me look at my methods. I'm guessing that I've missed points somewhere. The last time I did WW, I was very strict with the points and constantly kept myself two or three points below my minimum for my weight. It kept me hungry, but the weight loss was good. I thought this time around that I should stick with the point range for my weight, and not stress too much about it. The thinking was that if I keep this as a lifestyle choice, then me having a few points more today to keep me from being hungry was better than starving for awhile with the intention of "going back to normal" eventually.

Basically, I'm trying to make this normal. I'll give it a few more weeks before I make a decision, but I gotta tell you - having such a low number for the first week of a diet gives room for all those little voices to come back. You know the kind:
"Just eat whatever you want because you're always going to be fat."
"If this is what life is going to be like - hungry all the time and miserable, then just forget it and go back to what you like."

I guess it's better than gaining weight, and probably all I could expect for my age and activity level. At some point, I need to put some exercise back in. The problem is finding a way to do that so that it's sustainable in my life.

Day Six

11:00am: 32oz H2O, Fried Egg, Biscuit with butter, 1/4 cup potatoes, 3 slices bacon - 11pts
11:30am: 32oz H2O
5:30pm: 32oz H2O, Chicken, Green Beans, Salad - 10pts
6:00pm: Top Cow Fudge Bar - 2pts
8:00pm: Diet Pepsi
9:00pm: 32oz H2O, Apple - 2pts

Total: 25pts and 128oz water

Weight this morning: 251.2
Loss since 10/9/2007: 4.8

It's getting harder to not just stuff my face with things. Last night was difficult, I think I've gotten into the habit of munching my way through the game. This morning, I wanted another couple of pieces of bacon, and really, really wanted another biscuit. But I didn't need any of it, and so I stopped.

Starting Out

I didn't weigh myself this morning, mostly because I forgot until I was dressed and ready to go out the door. I'll do that tomorrow morning and post it then.

I'm pretty sure that I'm in the 28-33 point range from the chart over on the side bar. I'm wearing size 20 or 22 jeans, and 3x tops (or 22-24 for the Lane Bryant clothes). The size 20 jeans are almost getting unwearable.

I've got the mental state right today. I'm tired of things fitting so tight, and I want to lose weight. There's no feelings of being denied or like I don't have any choice. Let's see how long that lasts, shall we?

(Oh and a note, if there is anybody out there who wants to pull up a chair and some popcorn to watch this trainwreck sure-to-be-successful venture, then welcome!)

9am: Diet Coke and Special K Breakfast Bar - 2 pts
10am: Chamomile Tea - 0 pts
12pm: 32oz H2O and an Eating Right Frozen Burrito 300 cals/6g fat/3g fiber - 6 pts
(almost forgot, one Fig Newton 55cals/1.25g fat/<1g fiber - 1pts)
4pm: 32oz H2O and Activia Yogurt 110 cals/2g fat/0g fiber - 2pts
(another Fig Newton - 1pts)
4:45pm: Chamomile Tea - 0 pts
5:30pm: Chips Ahoy 100 cals/3g fat/1g fiber - 2 pts
7:30pm: 32oz H2O, Frescea Pizza, Bean with Bacon Soup - 12pts
8:30pm: grapes 2 cups - 2pts